I'm a firm believer that music is key in any relationship.
Every couple has a soundtrack for the journey that is their lives together and that one song that always makes them look into each other's eyes and smile. That one song which always reminds them of some special place or that time when...oh...well...you know. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.
And so it goes without saying (Shit. I just said it) that music is an integral part to a wedding. Unless, I suppose, the ceremony is for two mimes who will tie the knot in a box and then walk slowly down the aisle against the wind.
There are many different ways to go when deciding on how to present the music for your wedding. There are string quartets and a capella singers and guitar soloists and church choirs and one-man bands and organists and there's even a guy who will dress up like Elvis and croon Can't Help Falling In Love with You as the bride walks down the aisle.
The choice to pick one of the latter is ususally based on three things: the taste of the bride and groom, the desired mood for the wedding and most importantly, the budget.
If you have a lot of money and are planning a wedding, then go ahead and get Springsteen to play the reception. If you're like me, though, and planning a wedding on a tight budget, then live music is out of the question.
We already knew, going into this, that we would be going with pre-recorded music for both the ceremony and the reception. It's just makes sense in out particular situation. Oh sure we'd love to have Uncle Bucky and his Banjo Band play at our wedding, but there's just not enough in the budget.
Having decided to go with pre-recorded music, the task now falls to me to create a master list of songs that hold certain memories for Fawn and I. Once that list is created I must mold and shape it to fit into a ceremony and reception all the while balancing a nod to tradition and our need to do something totally different from any other wedding we've ever been to before.
Oh that should be easy.
Choosing the right music can make or break your wedding. Yes. It's as important as that. And that, my friends, is a lot of pressure. I never really paid attention to the fact that there is so much music during a wedding.
"Whoa...the bride's dress is beautiful."
"Yeah...but why is she moving so slow?"
"Who cares man. Just sit back and watch the leprechauns dance."
Here's the most important piece of advice I can give you in regards to pre-recorded wedding music. Listen to the song's lyrics-or better yet-read the lyrics to song before you decide to have it played while you and your bride dance your first dance as man and wife.
At first listen a song might sound perfect, but you might want to pay better attention.
Every Breath You Take by The Police may sound like a great choice for a first dance song, but if you've ever really listened to the song's lyrics you will know that Every Breath is about stalking.
"Every breath you take and every move you make ~Every bond you break ~Every step you take~ I'll be watching you~Every single day and every word you say~Every game you play~Every night you stay, I'll be watching you"
Mmmm...creepy. Just the way you want to start your life together.
Although beautifully sung by the immensely talented Celine Dion, My Heart Will Go On may not be a good choice for a wedding song. Sure. The movie was awesome and touching and romantic and...about the death of 1523 people. Even though the words 'til Death do us part are in the wedding ceremony, let's not belabor the point. Besides, what are the chances you and your bride are going to be taken out by an iceberg.
There are some other songs to think twice about before adding them to your wedding playlist. The key is to actually read the lyrics. You can't not rely on your memory in regards to song lyrics. Ask yourself: How many times have I been in my car singing "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" instead of Hendrix's actual "Excuse me while I kiss the sky."
I have a friend who used to sing along with INXS whenever she heard their songs on the radio. I was always a little baffled by her interpretation as she sang Soup and Salad Bar to the tune of Suicide Blonde. You can't really blame her. Listen to the song. It does sound like 'Soup and salad bar.'
I'm actually surprised Shoney's hasn't paid for the rights to use the song in a commercial.
One magazine included among the piles on WEDDING CENTRAL suggests these two additional titles as Don't Plays at your wedding.
ONE by U2.
When a Man Loves A Woman by the immortal Percy Sledge
When a Man Loves a Woman is a classic and the passionate vocals by Percy Sledge are enough to evoke emotion from a stone statue and at first it seems like a no-brainer for wedding music. Take a look at the lyrics. There is an underlying hurt that may not be appropriate for your big day.
When a man loves a woman ~ Deep down in his soul ~ She can bring him such misery ~ If she is playing him for a fool ~ He's the last one to know ~ Loving eyes can never see.
I'll let you look up the lyrics to U2's ONE. This quote from Bono should give you a clue though as to why it might not be a good choice for a wedding song.
"It amazes me when people tell me they played it (ONE) at their wedding or for comfort at a funeral. I go to myself, 'Are you crazy? It's about breaking up!"
For the most part, I have been talking about songs for the ceremony and the reception that require selecting a piece of music that speaks to that particular moment. I haven't even begun to talk about the reception.
Ultimately it comes down to you're probably going to play the songs you want to play. It is your wedding after all. and that's all good.
I would just say use some discretion while maintaining your personal expression.
Maybe Sir Mix-a-lot's Baby Got Back isn't a good song for when the bride walks down the aisle? Call me crazy.
The choice to pick one of the latter is ususally based on three things: the taste of the bride and groom, the desired mood for the wedding and most importantly, the budget.
If you have a lot of money and are planning a wedding, then go ahead and get Springsteen to play the reception. If you're like me, though, and planning a wedding on a tight budget, then live music is out of the question.
We already knew, going into this, that we would be going with pre-recorded music for both the ceremony and the reception. It's just makes sense in out particular situation. Oh sure we'd love to have Uncle Bucky and his Banjo Band play at our wedding, but there's just not enough in the budget.
Having decided to go with pre-recorded music, the task now falls to me to create a master list of songs that hold certain memories for Fawn and I. Once that list is created I must mold and shape it to fit into a ceremony and reception all the while balancing a nod to tradition and our need to do something totally different from any other wedding we've ever been to before.
Oh that should be easy.
Choosing the right music can make or break your wedding. Yes. It's as important as that. And that, my friends, is a lot of pressure. I never really paid attention to the fact that there is so much music during a wedding.
A wedding day is divided into two main parts. The ceremony and the reception. The ceremony can be divided into the following: the prelude, the processional, the interlude, the recessional and the post-lude. The reception can be divided into the following: bride and groom first dance, mother and son dance, cake cutting, bouquet toss, garter music, dinner music, dance music, and finally a song for the bride and groom's last dance of the night.
I figure that's about 5 hours of music, give or take a few minutes.
I have two choice here. Option 1 would involve choosing about 100 different standard songs that run anywhere from two and a half minutes to just a little over four. Option 2 would, or as it is usually referred to, The Lazy Stoner Way, is to pick just a few really long songs.
Let's see...
Jethro Tull's 1972 Thick As A Brick is a total of 43:40 minutes. Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (actually 'In The Garden of Eden') is just a little over 17 minutes. Don McLean's 1971 opus American Pie is 8:33. Rush's 2112 is 20:37 minutes while The Adventures of Greggery Peccary by Frank Zappa is 20:33.
I figure that's about 1 hour and 48 minutes of really long music and perfect if we were being married by Cheech and Chong.
"Yeah...but why is she moving so slow?"
"Who cares man. Just sit back and watch the leprechauns dance."
Yeah. If I go with Option 2 I better have plenty of chili cheese fries and brownies at the reception. Not going to happen.
This is no time to be lazy. It looks like Option 1 is the way to go.
Wedding music must set the mood for the day. That's the key! If you're a fun loving couple perhaps you should stay away from Wagner as your composer of choice. The music should reflect your personalities. People know Fawn and I too well. They wouldn't buy a wedding full of somber classical music. It's just not us.
"So what is?" I ask myself continuously.
Apparently what helps to establish the mood is to have some sort of theme for your wedding. At least that's what I've been reading.
Some popular themes are based on the seasons. We're getting married in October but we won't be asking our guests to come in costume. Some popular themes I've been seeing over and over are Arabian Nights (Really?) Mexican Fiesta (I kid you not) Disney (Well, if I was a one of those polygamist cult leaders and marrying an 8 year old that would be just swell) The Wild West, Greek Mythology and The Holidays. (Because everyone wants to be married by The Easter Bunny)
I'm not sure yet if we have a theme for our wedding. If I had to choose one, I guess I would say that we are shooting for Elizabethan-Greco-Roman-Grunge.
I'm kidding. I kid. I'm a kidder.
I think we're going to try and create an atmosphere of casual elegance. Now..having said that, I now must ensure that my music choices jibe with the theme.
What kind of music says casual and elegant?
Seriously. I'm asking people.
What kind of music says casual and elegant?
It's all good. No worries. Actually I have some ideas and the master list is slowly growing. It's actually been kinda fun. I have been diligently doing my homework and my frequent flier points on youtube.com have quadrupled. I've been listening and jotting down song titles, artists and song lengths.
It's been an eye-opening experience and I've learned a lot about wedding music.
At first listen a song might sound perfect, but you might want to pay better attention.
Every Breath You Take by The Police may sound like a great choice for a first dance song, but if you've ever really listened to the song's lyrics you will know that Every Breath is about stalking.
"Every breath you take and every move you make ~Every bond you break ~Every step you take~ I'll be watching you~Every single day and every word you say~Every game you play~Every night you stay, I'll be watching you"
Mmmm...creepy. Just the way you want to start your life together.
Although beautifully sung by the immensely talented Celine Dion, My Heart Will Go On may not be a good choice for a wedding song. Sure. The movie was awesome and touching and romantic and...about the death of 1523 people. Even though the words 'til Death do us part are in the wedding ceremony, let's not belabor the point. Besides, what are the chances you and your bride are going to be taken out by an iceberg.
There are some other songs to think twice about before adding them to your wedding playlist. The key is to actually read the lyrics. You can't not rely on your memory in regards to song lyrics. Ask yourself: How many times have I been in my car singing "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" instead of Hendrix's actual "Excuse me while I kiss the sky."
I have a friend who used to sing along with INXS whenever she heard their songs on the radio. I was always a little baffled by her interpretation as she sang Soup and Salad Bar to the tune of Suicide Blonde. You can't really blame her. Listen to the song. It does sound like 'Soup and salad bar.'
I'm actually surprised Shoney's hasn't paid for the rights to use the song in a commercial.
One magazine included among the piles on WEDDING CENTRAL suggests these two additional titles as Don't Plays at your wedding.
ONE by U2.
When a Man Loves A Woman by the immortal Percy Sledge
When a Man Loves a Woman is a classic and the passionate vocals by Percy Sledge are enough to evoke emotion from a stone statue and at first it seems like a no-brainer for wedding music. Take a look at the lyrics. There is an underlying hurt that may not be appropriate for your big day.
When a man loves a woman ~ Deep down in his soul ~ She can bring him such misery ~ If she is playing him for a fool ~ He's the last one to know ~ Loving eyes can never see.
I'll let you look up the lyrics to U2's ONE. This quote from Bono should give you a clue though as to why it might not be a good choice for a wedding song.
"It amazes me when people tell me they played it (ONE) at their wedding or for comfort at a funeral. I go to myself, 'Are you crazy? It's about breaking up!"
For the most part, I have been talking about songs for the ceremony and the reception that require selecting a piece of music that speaks to that particular moment. I haven't even begun to talk about the reception.
Ultimately it comes down to you're probably going to play the songs you want to play. It is your wedding after all. and that's all good.
I would just say use some discretion while maintaining your personal expression.
Maybe Sir Mix-a-lot's Baby Got Back isn't a good song for when the bride walks down the aisle? Call me crazy.
Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
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