I guess that if I were to compare where Fawn and I are at in our wedding plans with the plot of a movie, I would have to say that right now Chief Brody, Hooper and Quint have set sail to hunt down the shark that's been terrorizing Amity. 
Amity, as you know, means friendship.
I guess what I am saying is that we are a little more than halfway through this process and that one of us is going to get slowly devoured by a giant great white shark.


"We're gonna need a bigger boat."


Agreed.
A really big boat and three more weeks.
RSVP's are starting to come in. I actually find myself running to the mailbox every day now and then I text Fawn and tell her "We got three! We got three!"
Then she texts back "Yay!"
Then I text back "Yay!"
And then she texts back "From who?"
Twenty minute later I'm back to work on wedding stuff.


Did I mention I sent an invitation to Regis Philbin and his wife. 
(For those of you who don't know-that should be about 3 of you-I was a contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire about a hundred years ago) Regis and I did actually trade correspondence for a while after I appeared on the show. I don't want to give the impression that we have vacationed together on Martha's Vineyard. We hit it off on the show, we traded some letters, he always picked me out in the audience when I came to a show and made time to speak to me but that was it. We've never been bowling and we've never been to a strip club together. And...despite what the National Enquirer says, we've never, ever, been bowling with strippers. 
So, anyway, seeing as I have Regis' personal and private office address I decided to send him an invite. 
Do I honestly believe he will show up with his wife Joy on his arm? No. I did it for a laugh. Who knows? It's a crazy world. Besides, he'd probably stand up after I said "I do" and ask me if that was my...say it with me...my final answer.





Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
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STRESSED. 

Yeah. That about sums it up.


Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved

The invitations have been sent out. 
The website is up and running. 
A lot of people have received deposits. 


We're this <  >  much closer to making some really important decisions and writing more checks. 


I do believe this thing is really going to happen.





Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN ATTEMPTING TO APPLY FOR A PASSPORT


Step One:  Assume that the United States Post Office takes credit cards.
Seriously. Why would you think that the Post Office would take credit cards?
Just because

EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FREE WORLD TAKES CREDIT CARDS!!!

For the record, The United States Post Office does take credit cards, just not for the processing of passport photos.
My bad. Lesson learned...the hard way.


Also for the record:
The United States Post Office is not set up to take debit card or checking account information over the phone.


Step Two:  Drive 25 minutes away from your house to drop off the passport application so that in case of an unseen problem, it's a huge inconvenience to all parties involved to rectify the situation.


Step Three:  Lock yourself out of your vehicle...which is parked 25 minutes away from the duplicate set of keys.


Step Four:  Take the world's worst passport photo.*
Although Step Number 4 will not prevent you from entering foreign countries, it will cause you personal discomfort when people look at the photo and throw up a little in their mouths.


I hope this information had proved valuable to some of you who might be considering travel to a destination that might require a passport.


So. How's your morning gone?

Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved

peel stick fold insert

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Yep. Working on invitations today. 

As I may have mentioned, one of the books I am depending on for guidance through this little adventure has been The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wedding Planning. 

I've never considered myself a complete idiot. Some parts are missing, as they say, but the book has been helpful if not a little confusing now and then. 

Case in point, the formalities and etiquette involved in addressing envelopes. 

Good LORD almighty. 

I personally have never been offended by how an envelope was addressed to me. Sure. There is the occasional Ms. Jody Matzer but other than that, I'm a pretty easy going guy. 

I have never been so nervous about writing someone's address on an envelope before the last few days. So many rules. So many do's and don't's.

Never one to offend the wedding gods, I have tried to tow the line and dot my I's and cross my T's and not abbreviate anything. 

The pressure. The pressure. 


Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved

It's been a busy week. 


There is a lot going on and there seems to be an endless list of to do's in front of us. I don't know how Will and Kate handled the pressure. Oh. That's right. He's royalty. He has people to do all those things. He just had to sit back and watch his hairline recede. Yeah. I  said it! He might have had a pressure-free...let me rephrase that...he might have had a wedding where there was a huge staff of subordinates taking care of all the hundreds of little details that needed to be taken care of, but in the end, I've got more hair. I'll take what I can. 
The invitations arrived. They look really good. I can breathe easier. With any luck we will be mailing them out this weekend. I'm just waiting on the UPS guy now for the RSVP cards which should have been included in the box with everything else but for some reason it was decided they should be sent separately. UPS. Unclear Packaging Strategy. I guess.
Speaking of invitations...
A friend of mine is getting married in October, just a week before Fawn and I. Their invitations arrived today. They look good. Really good. Very nice indeed. And Matt has more hair than I do! Damn. And things were going so well too.
The remainder of the week...oh wait...today is Thursday. Shit. Okay. 
Well then. 
Tomorrow is going to be all about beer and wine and food and table cloths and...that should do it. 4 hours worth of work. Tops. It's Friday after all. 
i found myself saying this the last few days...
When I first proposed to Fawn last October and we decided that the wedding should be on the one year anniversary of my getting on one knee in the sand and then taking an hour to get back up (Damn my knees!) it really did seem like we had all of time til the wedding. 
Okay so maybe it was only a year. That's a long time! At least it used to be, or so it seems. I remember laughing and being way to cocky about the whole we-have-a-year-who's-worried-? thing. Now here we are. 73 days away...or is it 72? It's one of those and 73 or 72 days certainly don't a year make. 
Where has the time gone?
Where's Doc Brown when you need him?

Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel

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