We picked out and purchased our wedding bands.
I would be lying if I didn't say that the experience was as intimidating as I had expected but we did find two bands that are very us. And that's the key. and that was a key element in the plan. Find rings that reflected who we are. Find rings that fit our budget. And find rings, that when touched together, allow the reader to transform into a superhero.
Okay. So that last part was apparently only my goal and, and as it turned out, a little unrealistic. Hey. A Guy can dream.
We went to about 4 or 5 different places yesterday. Ultimately we decided to return to the first because the experience there had been so positive. Also I found a band I really, really liked and no other could match it's awesomeness.
Fawn also found a band she liked. It all worked out pretty well.
I will admit that I was intimidated at first by the process.
I am not a jewelry person at all.
I don't wear rings. I don't even wear a watch. I use my cellphone like everyone else. I used to have a school ring but my woman claimed that as her own. I have no piercings and probably never will. I also had made that claim about tattoos and I proudly sport 4, but I will never have a piercing.
I actually had piercings as a child. I hated the experience and that probably tainted my opinion on the subject. I was about 9 and was in the process of building a treehouse. I had jumped off the second floor (Oh yeah. I built some awesome treehouses) and when I landed I discovered much to my dismay that I had jumped right down onto two long boards, both which had exposed nails sticking up from underneath. The weight of my body forced the nails up through my sneakers (And these were sneakers-just rubber and canvas-not like the $200 things kids wear on their feet nowadays) and I found myself standing there on two makeshift skis. It hurt. It hurt bad and I was too afraid to try and pull them off so I walked home so my mom could. It was a long walk and I dragged my feet along the ground with long strides.
I'm good with the whole piercing thing. I tried it. I didn't like it. I moved on.
I've also worked many different jobs in my life and most of them required hard work with my hands. Jewelry would have just gotten in the way. So I never bothered.
Of course I wore jewelry during my first marriage. I had this lovely two piece set. One piece wrapped around my ankle and the other just sort of dragged along behind with a heavy metal cuh-lunk...cuh-lunk...cuh-lunk.
A ball and chain. I was saying I wore a ball and chain. It was a joke.
Someone is probably going to comment and suggest that perhaps that was mean and that perhaps my ex-wife's feelings would be hurt. No worries at all. She's an attorney. She lost the ability to feel years ago. (I'm joking. I do that sometimes.)
Like most men I do all my shopping utilizing the classic Seek and Destroy Method. I know what I want. I go in the store. I am out the doors in less than 15 minutes, depending on the lines of course. It comes from being dragged on shopping trips with our mothers as little boys and being forced to try on outfit after outfit...after outfit...after outfit....
Shopping for weddings bands in not shopping for school clothes or new underwear. This was not going to be a 15 minute in and out. This had to be a thoughtful and conscientious experience.
Our plan was to go to about 5 or 6 places and do some price comparisons.
That's smart, right? We thought so.
After about the third store we realized that the we weren't really seeing anything we liked as much as the first store. After about the 5th store we knew we weren't.
Shopping in a jewelry store the day before Valentine's Day is like shopping for guns and canned food before a zombie uprising.
Wow. That's the most un-romantic metaphor possibly ever written. Let me work on that and I will get back with you, Dear Reader.
There was an anxiety in the air yesterday. All hands were on deck and you couldn't take three steps inside the door before 2 people walked up to you to welcome you. Aggressive, professional salesmanship doesn't bother me. Sleazy, pushy salesmanship does. It's the reason I don't shower for three days or brush my teeth before I go looking to buy a new car.
HIS
I have a confession to make. It's a about a psychological problem I have. No. Not that one. You see, I suffer from an as yet un-named phobia. I suffer from a crippling fear that my thumb will get stuck in a bowling ball. Side effects of this phobia include the fear of getting your finger stuck in a ring you're trying on in a jewelry store. I never go bowling because I just know my thumb will get stuck in that third hole and I will go to roll the bowl and I won't be able to let go of it and the result will be me throwing my own body down the lane as people laugh and catcall me. Paramedics will have to lube my fingers and...well...it pretty much goes downhill after lubed thumbs.
It's the same with trying on new rings (the real reason I don't wear rings) I just know the ring is going to get stuck on my finger and it is going to turn into some huge ordeal and a video entitled Sausage Fingers Puts A Ring On It, with soundtrack by Beyonce, will go viral in less than 24 hours.
The entire time the salesgirl was preparing my ring for a trial fit, I was thinking to myself "Thin fingers. Thin fingers. Thin fingers."
I have to admit that I had a Gollum moment.
I saw my Precious and knew it had to be mine.
Sitting on a multi-tiered display among other lesser rings. So perfect. So me. Masculine without being flashy. And made from some alien metal that would allow me the power of flight and super-human strength.Okay. I added that last part. But it's an awesome ring and no matter where we went and how many other stores we went to afterwards, I would find none better.
My Precioussssssss.....
Before I go on too much farther, can I just make the observation that choosing a wedding band in a jewelry store is not at all unlike choosing a donut in a donut shop? Buying a ring and a Bavarian Creme-if that's your donut of choice-is very similar. Granted one is very fattening and one is very expensive but in the case of shopping for both, it is a similar experience. Eventually, in the case of both, you wind up with your face pressed against glass as the salesperson tries to locate-with just verbal directions-the one you want.
"A little to the right...Nope! Down one! Over to the left now....just one more...No. The one next to it. YES! THAT'S the one I want!"
Any way. I just wanted to make that observation. As you were.
HERS
Choosing my fiance's band was a little trickier than when I chose mine.
This was her wedding ring after all.
I asked Fawn if she would allow me to pick out a ring for her, just to see if I had any clue as to what she had been hoping/wishing for and I've got say that I didn't do too badly. The first two rings I pointed to were rings Fawn liked very much. The third not so much. Apparently the fact that it was the same ring Dog gave to Beth on a very special episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter did little to impress her. It was cool though. There was an eagle and a feather and...never mind.
I've never seen Fawn so deep in concentration before. I mean, this wasn't a steak dinner. Her little brow was furrowed and there was this little grin on her face. She looked like a kid in a candy store...or...a kid in a donut shop.
BOOM! LOOK WHAT I DID THERE!
Of course Fawn knew exactly what she was looking for and was going to take her time. There are considerations about cut and clarity, of course, but there has to be that gut reaction to tell you this is the one. Could it be that woman have a My Precioussss moment as well?
AND IN THE END
Having gotten a good idea about cost and fit we made our exit from the very store with our complimentary bottle of water. They had offered us cappacino but I don't think a double strength caffeine beverage is the best thirst quencher when you're buying expensive jewelry.
We were honest with our saleswoman telling her we had to do some comparative shopping. The situation behooved us to do so. We didn't use the word behoove. I don't think I've ever used the word behoove as a matter of fact and not really sure why I did just then. I must be tired. Or channeling Jamie Gertz from Square Pegs.
Being a good salesperson she understood this completely and threw no static or pressure our way.
Which is one of the main reasons we went back to that first store. We went to others but couldn't really find anything close to what we had already seen and tried on and apparently decided on.
We headed back and we bought our bands.
All in all, it was a really nice day.
I was getting a little light-headed and claustrophobic from the crowded stores and over powering perfumes and colognes but I was with my lady and we always have the best time when we shop.
My ring would be ready for pick up in about two weeks.
Fawn's ring would be ready in two days.
It's gonna be hard not to want to wear my ring but I will wait until Sunday, October 16th. Partly because I am a traditional sort of guy. Partly because I am a superstitious type of guy. Mostly because I am that guy who is scared that the ring will get stuck on my fat finger.
Our plan was to go to about 5 or 6 places and do some price comparisons.
That's smart, right? We thought so.
After about the third store we realized that the we weren't really seeing anything we liked as much as the first store. After about the 5th store we knew we weren't.
Shopping in a jewelry store the day before Valentine's Day is like shopping for guns and canned food before a zombie uprising.
Wow. That's the most un-romantic metaphor possibly ever written. Let me work on that and I will get back with you, Dear Reader.
There was an anxiety in the air yesterday. All hands were on deck and you couldn't take three steps inside the door before 2 people walked up to you to welcome you. Aggressive, professional salesmanship doesn't bother me. Sleazy, pushy salesmanship does. It's the reason I don't shower for three days or brush my teeth before I go looking to buy a new car.
HIS
I have a confession to make. It's a about a psychological problem I have. No. Not that one. You see, I suffer from an as yet un-named phobia. I suffer from a crippling fear that my thumb will get stuck in a bowling ball. Side effects of this phobia include the fear of getting your finger stuck in a ring you're trying on in a jewelry store. I never go bowling because I just know my thumb will get stuck in that third hole and I will go to roll the bowl and I won't be able to let go of it and the result will be me throwing my own body down the lane as people laugh and catcall me. Paramedics will have to lube my fingers and...well...it pretty much goes downhill after lubed thumbs.
It's the same with trying on new rings (the real reason I don't wear rings) I just know the ring is going to get stuck on my finger and it is going to turn into some huge ordeal and a video entitled Sausage Fingers Puts A Ring On It, with soundtrack by Beyonce, will go viral in less than 24 hours.
The entire time the salesgirl was preparing my ring for a trial fit, I was thinking to myself "Thin fingers. Thin fingers. Thin fingers."
I have to admit that I had a Gollum moment.
I saw my Precious and knew it had to be mine.
Sitting on a multi-tiered display among other lesser rings. So perfect. So me. Masculine without being flashy. And made from some alien metal that would allow me the power of flight and super-human strength.Okay. I added that last part. But it's an awesome ring and no matter where we went and how many other stores we went to afterwards, I would find none better.
My Precioussssssss.....
Before I go on too much farther, can I just make the observation that choosing a wedding band in a jewelry store is not at all unlike choosing a donut in a donut shop? Buying a ring and a Bavarian Creme-if that's your donut of choice-is very similar. Granted one is very fattening and one is very expensive but in the case of shopping for both, it is a similar experience. Eventually, in the case of both, you wind up with your face pressed against glass as the salesperson tries to locate-with just verbal directions-the one you want.
"A little to the right...Nope! Down one! Over to the left now....just one more...No. The one next to it. YES! THAT'S the one I want!"
Any way. I just wanted to make that observation. As you were.
HERS
Choosing my fiance's band was a little trickier than when I chose mine.
This was her wedding ring after all.
I asked Fawn if she would allow me to pick out a ring for her, just to see if I had any clue as to what she had been hoping/wishing for and I've got say that I didn't do too badly. The first two rings I pointed to were rings Fawn liked very much. The third not so much. Apparently the fact that it was the same ring Dog gave to Beth on a very special episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter did little to impress her. It was cool though. There was an eagle and a feather and...never mind.
I've never seen Fawn so deep in concentration before. I mean, this wasn't a steak dinner. Her little brow was furrowed and there was this little grin on her face. She looked like a kid in a candy store...or...a kid in a donut shop.
BOOM! LOOK WHAT I DID THERE!
Of course Fawn knew exactly what she was looking for and was going to take her time. There are considerations about cut and clarity, of course, but there has to be that gut reaction to tell you this is the one. Could it be that woman have a My Precioussss moment as well?
AND IN THE END
Having gotten a good idea about cost and fit we made our exit from the very store with our complimentary bottle of water. They had offered us cappacino but I don't think a double strength caffeine beverage is the best thirst quencher when you're buying expensive jewelry.
We were honest with our saleswoman telling her we had to do some comparative shopping. The situation behooved us to do so. We didn't use the word behoove. I don't think I've ever used the word behoove as a matter of fact and not really sure why I did just then. I must be tired. Or channeling Jamie Gertz from Square Pegs.
Being a good salesperson she understood this completely and threw no static or pressure our way.
Which is one of the main reasons we went back to that first store. We went to others but couldn't really find anything close to what we had already seen and tried on and apparently decided on.
We headed back and we bought our bands.
All in all, it was a really nice day.
I was getting a little light-headed and claustrophobic from the crowded stores and over powering perfumes and colognes but I was with my lady and we always have the best time when we shop.
My ring would be ready for pick up in about two weeks.
Fawn's ring would be ready in two days.
It's gonna be hard not to want to wear my ring but I will wait until Sunday, October 16th. Partly because I am a traditional sort of guy. Partly because I am a superstitious type of guy. Mostly because I am that guy who is scared that the ring will get stuck on my fat finger.
Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved
I didn't just get a band, honey.... I got an ENGAGEMENT ring AND a BAND ! wooohooo! <3
ReplyDelete