Goin' To The Chapel

Just a few thoughts...that's about all I have the strength for today...


I should start off by saying that as of today, we are T-MINUS 32 days. 
I have never planned a wedding before, so I have nothing to compare my progress to and in some aspects, that is a good thing.
There are only a few things left on the To-Do List which by now, is about as thick as the telephone book for Duckbill, Arkansas, population 351. 
(Don't GOOGLE that. It was a joke made to make a point. 


Okay. So where are we as of today?


NUDITY
  
The guys-my groomsmen and best man-have been measured and their tuxedos are on order. It was a close one though...right up to the wire...but there will be no naked people standing with Fawn and I.
THAT goes for you too, Uncle Gerhardt.
Let me tell you. This is going to be one sharp group of guys. The lavender shirts and the kilts are going to look so incredible against the palette that is Autumn. That little bit of burnt orange in the knee socks...MMMM  MMMM!! Delicious! 
I wonder what Tim Gunn would think...
Tim?


MUSIC
I have never downloaded music from the Internet before and I'm not sure if I really know what to do. I will admit that part of me feels like I'm doing something illegal and as soon as I finish, the FEDS are going to break down my front door, throw me in cuffs, and cart me away to Guantanamo Bay. I'd hate to be water-boarded for downloading Air Supply. That's not going to give me any cred in prison.
In an effort to save some money, we are going to utilize an I-POD for pre-ceremony music and for dinner music. An I-POD was the best way to go. The cheapest way would have been to take my neighbor's offer to hum all the music for the wedding but he's 79. I'm worried about loss of breath-and subsequent loss of life-right as Fawn starts walking down the aisle.
I like the music I've selected for our big day and I think it's going to set a great tone for the day. 
I just hope I can download it and not get spammed with VIAGRA ads for the next two years.

FLOWERS

I've got to order flowers this week. That is to say, I've got to order Fawn's bouquet, bouquets for the bridesmaids and the boutonnieres for the groomsmen. I figure as long as I try to compliment our colors and not go to gaudy, I will do okay.
I also have to order balloons. Balloons are fun and easy. Seriously. How hard can balloons be? 
More importantly...how expensive could balloons be? If worse comes to worse I'll get some latex gloves at Wal-Mart. Might be kind of symbolic actually. Like Fawn and I are high-fiving all our guests.


WORDS
The vows have been written. We've met the person officiating. 
I've written the piece which will be read by a good friend. I've written a few things in my life: a book that about 6 people read, a play, some short stories that won me awards in high school and a couple of blogs. I don't know if I am a good writer or not. I enjoy writing. That's why I do it. Technically speaking, I am probably a horrible writer. If some of you reading this blog could actually mark on it with a red pen, you'd probably see very little white left on the screen. 
And honestly (I know George. I'm starting a sentence with And. Deal) I'm okay with that. I see my writing as a stream of consciousness anyway. Now, if a publisher wants to hook me up with a good editor...
I'm just saying.
I've written a piece for Fawn. 
I've done an outline for the vows and for the charge to the bride and groom. 
Let's hope no one brings a red pen to the wedding.



Other Schtuff
We have received the official copy of our banquet license so we can serve food and drink at our reception. Which is awesome because I'm thinking that juice boxes and NABS would look a little tacky. 


We're still waiting on a few RSVP's, about 20, give or two a couple, so if you are reading this and have received an invitation-which would have included another envelope-which would have contained the all important RSVP-and it is sitting somewhere under, on top of, or in the vicinity of all your current unpaid bills...please...
pretty please...pretty please with sugar on top...


PLEASE!


...send it back to us. There's postage already on it. All you need do is check yes or no and then lick it and stick it in a WHAM-BAM-THANK-YOU-UNCLE-SAM Mailbox! 
Thanks. Sorry if it looked like I was yelling there. It's a sensitive subject. Only because we're getting close to, well you know, the wedding date, and well, in case you didn't know, weddings are all about numbers...the number of chairs needed, the total number of people so we know how much food to order, the number of puppies we'll need to pass out as people are leaving (Just checking to see if you are still reading) For the record there will be no puppies. None. 
Anyway, like I was saying, if you've got the RSVP and you're coming...or if even you're not coming and in that case WHY THE HELL NOT?...just drop it in a mailbox. Please. It would be a load off my mind which at the moment is bring crushed in a vice and being stabbed with a crochet needle. 


Okay. I'm fine now. 


I guess that's it. 
I mean for today. I'm exhausted. This has exhausted me. I'm done. 
As far as the wedding is concerned, there's still stuff to do. So I'm going to take a break, take some medicine and pray for the best. 


Did I mention the RSVP's?



Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
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