Goin' To The Chapel

Invitations


"The invitation is meant to convey the necessary facts about your upcoming ceremony and the celebration following."
"The wedding invitation-from its wording, form, and addressing to its printing style and ink color-is the subject of etiquette controversies;long chapters in wedding books;and dictatorial outlines.To flout that these sources imply is to risk massive embarrassment, if not complete social disgrace."
"...massive embarrassment....complete social disgrace..."
From Wedding Planning for Dummies


Great. 
As if I wasn't feeling stressed as it was. Now I have to worry about townspeople with pitchforks and torches banging at my door screaming for my head on a pike. 
And from the 'My Head Is Going To Explode File' 
So today was interesting. Scientific interesting. Today I finished creating our wedding stationery and uploaded...excuse me...I misspoke...must be the heat...I attempted to upload the files to the company who will be printing everything.
I said scientific because I'm pretty sure there was a group of scientists watching me for the four hours I was working at the library. Let me backtrack a little. 
Fawn and I have a laptop at home. No art or design programs are loaded onto this computer. The poor thing would probably have a stroke if we did attempt an upload. It's an HP. I affectionately refer to it as Forrest because I constantly yell at it to run faster. 
I use the computers at the local library. There is a suite of design programs-InDesign and Photoshop are the two I use the most-and as a card holder I am allowed two hours of work time. I also use Fawn's card which then gives me four hours. 
Now you would think that fours is plenty of time to create and upload 6 documents. 
You might think that, but I know better. Something always goes wrong. Whether it's connection problems or user errors, something also gets in the way and that four hour window gets smaller and smaller. 
That's what happened today. Talk about a pressure cooker. My heart is still racing!
I was like James Bond trying to defuse the bomb before it blew up something James Bondy. 
Everything I did seemed to turn into poo. First the files were too big (I used their template) and then they were distorted. Then there was an issue of the server being connected and then a dog ate someone's homework and then someone opened King Tut's tomb. As I said, everything that could have gone wrong, did.
And all the while there is this huge clock (not really-it was all in my head) ticking in my ears. 


TICK TOCK
TICK TOCK
TICK TOCK
TICK TOCK


(maddening isn't it?)


So there I am with all my wedding stationery in front of me just waiting to be sent to the printer and I can't do anything right. It's like that dream where you're running away from the killer and the carpet turns to quicksand. 
TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

Then I finally got all the files created, uploaded onto the site and ready for printing. 
Something didn't look right though and upon further examination-and confirmation from the designer's at the printers-I realized that I saved four of the biggest files with red crop marks and the words SAFE ZONE on them. 
Damn! 
TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

Oh shut up. Stupid clock.

So I quickly rebuilt everything and resent everything and waited for word from the designer that everything was okay and the order was being processed. I clicked on the icon of the clock at the bottom of the screen and it said 19 MINUTES REMAINING. 

Finally Alvin-yes Alvin-came back on, interrupting what could only have been Yanni's soundtrack for some yet-to-be-released caveman movie-and told me everything was a go.

I was done. 

Everything was loaded and my order was being processed. 

WHEW!

I looked at the time. 

007 seconds remaining. 

I'm kidding. That would have been so cool though, wouldn't it?

I had three minutes left. 
And I felt a little like I was in a James Bond movie. 
You know...a little shaken and a little stirred. 




Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel

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