Goin' To The Chapel

BEER  
I'm switching gears a little and working on beer this week. After picking out flowers for the ceremony and reception, I figured selecting beer would be a cake walk. 
Which reminds me. I've got to talk to the cake guy. 
Where was I? Oh yeah.
BEER
When it comes to the subject of beer everyone has an opinion and there-in lies my dilemma. How do you make everyone happy? The answer should be "You can't. You can't make everyone happy" and "There's no way you can have everyone's favorite beer at the reception." I'm a perfectionist, though, and that answer doesn't sit well with the way my brain works. The hamster only spins one way in my head and sometimes its really hard to get him to stop and switch directions. 
It's a challenge, to be sure.
And what makes my situation even more of a challenge is that I no longer drink beer so it's sort of like asking a guy who doesn't drive to pick the best car on the market. 

Don't get me wrong. I have done my share of beer drinking in the past but as I've gotten older, I seem to have acquired an allergy to beer....and carrots...and ragweed...and cats....and cigarette smoke...and patchouli and...you know what. Just seal me in a plastic bubble and call it a day. 

Sadly, my drinking beer these days results in terrible next day sinus headaches. There are some theories about histamine and other bigenic amines but I won't bore you with them. Let me just say that there are things in beer which make me snotty. If I go in any further detail, it's gonna get gross.

Beer and I have parted ways. Nuff said.

That doesn't impare my ability to select good beers for our reception. If you didn't know, I will also mention that I have worked as a waiter, bartender, restaurant manager and ABC manager for a wedding facility. I have road-tested some beer in my life. I think I know what tastes good and what people will like. 

With my allergy to beer, I will more than likely be consuming a good hard cider (like Woodchuck) during the reception. There will surely be a six pack in a cooler marker with really big letters that says FOR GROOM'S CONSUMPTION ONLY.

No touchy! It's mine! I worked hard for it, people. 

Don't touch my Woodchuck! 
Jeez. I sound like some crazy backwoods trapper. 
Y'all get away from my woodchuck! She's all mine! Get your hands off my sweet, sweet Caroline!

One would think it would be easy to decide on just 3 beers and be done with it. That would be nice, you're right, but it's a little unrealistic. Not to mention that there are about a gazillion different beers on the market these days, give or take three or four.

There are a few decisions to be made. 

The biggest decision would be "What kind of beer do you want?" 

And sorry. Cold is not specific enough. No. Details must be addressed. 
Details such as "Do you want a lager or an ale?" "Do you want a pale lager or a pilsner?" "A light or dark pilsner?" Perhaps you'd prefer an ale? Okay. "Would that be a brown ale, a porter or a stout?"
Maybe you want a microbrew? And no. That does not refer to a really small beer. 
Do you want draft or bottled?
Seriously?
I am beginning to worry that every detail involved in planning a wedding will require answering a never-ending list of questions. It seems nothing is as simple as it first appears and I am afraid that when I am asked the "Do you take this woman" question it will be followed by twelve subsequent questions that can only be answered by Phineas J. Whoopee and his magical blackboard. 
Yes. I am making a Tennessee Tuxedo reference here and more than likely carbon dating myself a little too much. 
My goal in choosing libation for the reception is to find three beers that pair excellently with the food we will be serving at our reception. 
Oh, and by the way, we're serving pork barbecue. Really, really good pork barbecue to our guests.
So the question must be asked. What beer goes well with pork? 
I don't know. Maybe it's me? Maybe it's my desire for perfection? Maybe I'm thinking about this way too much?
I'm just picking out beer, for Pete's Sake! 
It's not I'm like choosing wine. 
Crap!
I still have to pick out the wine!
See! Told you! The list is never-ending. It just goes on and on and on. 


Here's what Chef Kevin Gillespie, former Top Chef cheftestant and currently working his magic at the Woodfire Grill in Atlanta Georgia suggested to me:
"Sweeter, smokier barbecue goes well with IPA and hoppier beers. More vinegar based beers do well with lighter crisp beers lacking bitterness, like a lager or an amber."


Another beer enthusiast suggested: 
"...I would tend to stay away from any beer too sweet like Blue Moon and lean toward something a little hoppier, a little more bitter. But you also don't want something to heavy; think refreshingly crisp. I think a good choice would be Sam Adams, NOT the lager, but the ALE. I think it's much better. A second heavier choice (but only for the hops-initiated would be Sierra Nevada Extra IPA. It's amazing!"


I could always ask Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man in the World but I have to ask myself "Do I really trust a guy who's catch-phrase is "Stay thirsty, my friends?" I mean...what kind of friend is that?" I don't care if dolphins appear every time he goes swimming or that he never says anything tastes like chicken...not even chicken. 
Shut up, Grizzly Ted Dansen and get me a beer. 
So, obviously, Dos Equis won't be served at the reception. Either will Miller High Life. Even though it is the champagne of beers and only because that never made any sense to me. The champagne of beers? That's kind of like saying it's The New York Strip of Bologne. Who associates beer with champagne? Or vice-versa? Marketing people. That's who.
I'm happy with the feedback I've gotten thus far. I'm really not going to over think this. Believe me, there are going to be plenty of opportunities to over think things. I got this! I got this! I got this!
Here's my Top 3 Choices, in no particular order, for the beers at our reception.

Yuengling

Stella Artois 

or Red Stripe (I'm on the fence on Choice #2)

I'm on the fence about both of these. Stella is a great beer but there is the one down side. This very delicious beer, and much better alternative to Heinecken, is served in a green bottle and that raises the question of contamination. It's one of the factors I must consider. It will be night time and the beer will be kept in coolers and well-iced. I've got to ponder this a little longer.

My third choice is:

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

If you're a beer drinker I would be interested in hearing what you have to say. If you enjoy a good barbecue dinner and a cold beer to wash it down, I would really be interested in what you have to say. 

Your feedback is welcomed. Don't agree with my selections? Got a better idea? Let me hear what's on your mind. 

Of course it will all come down to cost. Just like with everything else. I will look for the best prices on the beers I want and then go from there. The most important thing for you to know is that I am working to ensure that the beer will be cold and wet and that it won't be Chelada, Anheuser-Bush's much maligned experiment with Bud Light and Clamato.

Look it up. I'm not joking. It's a real thing. And it was described as 'the worst Bloody Mary you've ever had.'
Mmmmmm....you can't pay for advertising like that.

Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel

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