Sunday, July 24, 2011

This week has been all about lists. The creating of lists to keep track of lists that need to be created and the listing of the things to take off the lists that have already been created. 
This week has been about the guest list and the invitations and the R.S.V.P cards and envelopes and computer screens and eye drops and...
stomach ulcers and cold sweats and tension headaches and...


WHERE THE HELL IS MY CATERER? 
AND WHY HASN'T HE CALLED ME BACK.


Everything is about tight deadlines now and pressure and frustration with people who don't return phone calls (see the above) and those little annoying details and questions. Questions like "Is silverware really that important?" and "Do you think our guests will mind using the same napkin all night long?"





Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved













Wednesday, July 20, 2011

By the way...


There's less than three months to go. 


OH MY.

Mommy?



Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved

Wedding Update:
Yes. We're still getting married. 


The Honeymoon 
Yes. We're going on one. 
And...
We know where we're going. 
Punta Cana. 
Or...as the natives pronounce it...punta cana.
I think that literally translates to 'kick the dog'...but I can't be certain.
Punta Cana is a region located on the east coast of the Dominican Republic in the Caribbean. It is 8 km of beaches of fine white sand, crystal clear waters surrounded by coral reefs. They had me at 8KM.
Here's a photo. Not ours. I just grabbed it off a website. I don't know why the web address is 'dead man musings' but I guess that Punta Cana is so totally awesome that even zombies love it.


http://deadmanmusings.blogspot.com/p/punta-cana-dominican-republic-pictures.html

The Food
Well. I've contacted the caterer. I've created a very fancy proposal per their request. Now I'm just waiting...and waiting...and waiting to hear back from them. How long do I wait? What is the appropriate time before I kick down their doors and scream and yell at them? 
I don't know. Time is running out. 
Let me just throw this out there. 
Would you all mind packing a brown bag for the reception?
Just asking.

The Naked Groom
No. I won't be naked. I will be wearing a tuxedo. A really cool tuxedo. 
The best part? The salesperson who helped us was awesome and worked out a really good deal for me and my groomsmen. It was also kind of cool that he looked a little Daniel Craig. I mean...C'MON!!! How cool is it that James Bond helped pick out your wedding tuxedo? Double 'O' My God!
Now all that's left is about...<counting on fingers> a million little details. 

Oy vay.


Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved



Friday, July 8, 2011

Random Thoughts 
About The Wedding


I'm going to cry. There is no doubt in my mind. As soon as I see Fawn start walking up (down?) the aisle I am going to cry. Not an ugly cry but a cry nonetheless. 
Well. Okay. It might get a little ugly


*****


Fawn is going to look amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. 
I'm going to look like a waiter. 


*****



A train is going to pass by right as we are about to say "I do." I just know it. And what do you do? You just gotta laugh. Right? RIGHT?


*I've tried contacting AM-TRAK but got the impression from their reaction that any further questions regarding future train schedules and I would labeled as a possible security threat. 

*****

Will our whole day be judged on the fact that our tablecloths were floor length and not chair length?

*****

What the HELL does chair length mean?

*****

The success or failure of this wedding will depend solely on our selection of napkins. Paper or cloth? Burnt Orange or orange? GOOD GOD! Will the questions ever cease?  


*****

I am going to be more Fred Flintstone than Fred Astaire during our first dance. Oh you scoff but you've probably never seen me dance before. It's not pretty. I'm like a tranquilized water buffalo. At least, that's what the reviews in the paper said. 


*****


The music is going to sk-sk-sk-sk-ip.


*****


When the minister asks if there is anyone who objects everyone will raise their hands. I know. Highly improbable. Nonetheless. It's a fear. Just like my fear of Wilfred Brimley. There's just something about him. Ever since The Firm. I dunno. It's just this overwhelming fear that he will kill me in my sleep.


*****


Rain. 


*****


That girl with telekinetic powers who I picked on in high school will show up and wreck havoc on the reception. 
(Note to self: Check for buckets of pig's blood in rafters.) 
(Second note to self: Check for rafters.)


*****


Why are all the mannequins in the tuxedo store so svelte?
Then again...do I really want to get my tuxedo at a place called Tux Barn?


*****


I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. I will not sweat. 

*****


I'm going to forget something. 


*****


Two words: Raptor Attack. Sure. You laugh but there have been great strides in science. You can never rule out anything. 









Thursday, June 16, 2011

WE WON!


http://jensinclairphotography.blogspot.com/




Fawn and I are so totally touched by the outpouring of love and affection (and patience and persistence)...we are speechless. No. Really. We are. I know that's hard to believe-especially if you have ever sat down to dinner with us or gone on a long car ride with us or bumped into us at the grocery store...




Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.  "Pooh!" he whispered.  "Yes, Piglet?"  "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.  "I just wanted to be sure of you."  ~A.A. Milne


We are extrememly fortunate to have people...friends...like you in our lives.


Thank you. 
Thank you. 
Thank you. 


Jody and Fawn
The Future Mr. and Mrs. 

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I looked at a calendar yesterday and realized that June 16th is just 11 days away. Not exactly Earth-shattering news to you and not really the most impressive math either. Here's the thing though. In 11 days it will be June 16th and four months from that date Fawn and I will be getting married. 
Four months. 
FOUR MONTHS!!! 
By the zestful zither of Zeus!"
(Who knew Zeus played the zither?)
Where the Hell did the time go? Can I please get the last three months back? Where's Doc Brown and his Flux Capicator when you need him?
Okay. Quick checklist:

Rings? 

CHECK!

Dress?

CHECK!

Venue?

CHECK!

Guest List?

CHECK!

Table Settings?

CHECK!

Music Set List?

CHECK!

Man, you're doing pretty well. Let's keep going. Shall we?

Caterer?

Almost.

Beer and Wine?

Well, we know what we don't want.

Cake?

Yes and no. We're looking for penguins. It's a long story.

Honeymoon Destination?

Thailand and Iceland are definitely off the list!

Photographer?

Working on it. 

Honeymoon Date?

October. Probably after the wedding.

Save the Date doo-hickey and invitations?

In the planning stages. On the drawing board. Literally. 

Final Decision on Tuxedo style?
Final Decision on Tuxedo style?
Hello?

Move along please. I will be wearing pants. Probably.

Seriously?

MOVE ALONG PLEASE.

Table clothes, silverware, napkins and glassware?

This week. I swear. Probably.

You've got some serious work to do. You know that right?

Thanks. I wasn't aware. 

Idiot. 

Jerk.






Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel
All Rights Reserved





Let the games begin!

As some of you are aware, Fawn and I have entered our wedding story in a contest. Photographer Jen Sinclair is offering a free wedding photography package as the prize. A generous prize indeed.
What? A FREE wedding package? Let me just say that when you're planning a wedding and hear the word free it's very exciting. Very give-me-a-second-I-need-to-be-alone exciting. Believe me, at this stage of the game, if someone offered us free pogo sticks and sparklers, we'd probably take them. I'm not exactly sure how pogo sticks and sparklers would fit into our whole casual and elegant theme, but if they were free, we would sure find a way. 
Like I said, a lot of you are already aware of the contest and our story and so many of our friends have already taken the time to go to the site and post a comment. To those of you who have done so, Fawn and I wanted to let you know that we are so grateful for your time and generosity of friendship.
If you are considering going to Jen Sinclair's Photography blogspot website (I'll put the link below) there is something you should know. The winners of this package will be selected based on the number of comments but also, and I think more importantly, on the content of the comments. In other words, she is reading the posts left and looking for comments on the couples' stories
She would prefer that people not just write "Jody and Fawn should win. 'Cuz I said so." I should also mention that comments such as "Jody and Fawn should win because they once saved a bus load of orphans from a going over a cliff in a school bus" can, and will, be confirmed with just a little research on GOOGLE. 
For the record, it was not a bus load of orphans in a school bus about to go over a cliff. It was in fact a group of miners in Chile. Go ahead. GOOGLE it! The story was all over the Internet back in October of 2010. 
Every contest has its rules and we are crossing every T and dotting every I because we really want to win. If you read our story and have something to say about it please take the time to post a comment. 
However...having said that. 
Apparently it's not easy to post a comment. I have three blogspot websites and I know it can be a little tricky to post a comment. Unfortunately, this particular site is set up in a way so that you can't just write a comment, hit ENTER and it appears a few seconds later. 
Below is a link in which someone had listed the steps to leaving a comment on a blogspot website. 
I tried to comment on the site to thank the person, but I couldn't figure out how to. 
So, if you're having problems leaving a comment, see if this step-by-step how to can help:
http://darraghdoyle.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-to-comment-on-blog-beginners-guide.html


Several friends have told us they have posted comments but that nothing has appeared on the site. I wish I knew what to say. I'm guessing that maybe Jen is reviewing the comments to make sure there is nothing she wouldn't want on her site, like profanity or ads for Viagra. 
If that's the case and there are posts remaining to be proofed, then Fawn and I might actually have more posts than are currently showing. 
As of today, we are competing with only one other couple. We are ahead of them right now in regards to the number of comments. That can change at any time though. It's gonna be a horse-race, for sure. 
I'm confident we can win this though. Our story is so much better and doesn't include stories of jail time or bar room fights and drug-fueled car chases through the streets of Moscow or the horrors of monkey fighting (not people fighting monkeys but monkeys fighting monkeys with weapons fashioned out of household kitchen utensils)
Okay. So. I may have made that last part up. The other couple seems very nice and I'm sure they wouldn't condone monkey fighting and blah blah blah...nice nice and blah blah blah.
THIS IS A CONTEST PEOPLE! 
The kid gloves are off! Give me a bus and I'll throw someone under it. We're talking about a free photography package? FREE! Photography! Package! People!
I'm joking of course. That whole last part was written in good natured, spirit-of-competition jest. 
You read their story and decide for yourselves whose is the better. (ours ours ours)
Just let me remind a select group of you reading this. I still have the jump drive with all the photos on it. You know who you are. You know what you did. 'Nuff said?
We good? Good.


The last day to post a comment looks to be June 14th. 
For those of you who have not yet visited the photographer's site, here is the address:
http://jensinclairphotography.blogspot.com/2011/05/wedding-contest-entry-1-fawn-jody.html

I can't begin to tell you how much this would mean to Fawn and I. 
I can try though. 
It would mean we could spend the money originally intended for a photographer on, oh, I don't know, silly things like chairs and tablecloths. 
I'm kidding. We can't afford the tables so there's no need for the tablecloths. I'M KIDDING. 
I'm a kidder. It's what I do. I kid. 
I am dead serious though in regards to how much Fawn and I appreciate you even going to the site and reading our story, much less leaving a comment. 
So thank you. 
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for doing this for us. 

With much love, 
Jody and Fawn

Je. Matzer~Goin' To The Chapel

All Rights Reserved